BREAKING: WOMP WOMP! Screenings of “Melania” are being CANCELLED as the “film” careens towards a box office catastrophe, projected to earn just $5 million despite having spent $40 million to make it and $35 million to market it!

Well, well, well, it turns out that the world is not super interested in finding out how the credibly accused pedophile sex trafficking president and his imported trophy wife spent the last three weeks before returning to the White House and making our lives a living hell.

Deadline reports that “Melania” has made only $1 million in pre-sales, putting it on track for just $5 million at the box office on its opening weekend. An analysis by WIRED found that “found that only two screenings in the U.S. were completely sold out: one at an AMC in Independence, Missouri, and one at an AMC in Vero Beach, Florida.”

The Independent reports that “at the first screening at the AMC in The Grove mall in Los Angeles, 15 of 132 seats had been sold as of Thursday afternoon. At the Alamo Drafthouse in New York City, just two of 31 seats had sold for the afternoon screening, but 14 had sold for an evening screening.”

Melania screenings at the Mann Plymouth Grand 15 theater in Minnesota have been canceled due to lack of interest.

Trump tried to wave off the poor ticket sales by complaining that “it’s a very tough business in theaters selling movie tickets after Covid,” but we think the real reason is that everyone hates him and hates her too.

Social media users had a ball mocking Trump and Melania over the poor showing. “Friend of mine is an undocumented immigrant and has been hiding in Melania theaters bc he knows people assume no one is in there,” joked Derek Guy on Twitter.

“Melania is bombing so bad it qualifies her as a domestic terrorist,” laughed @GianmarcoSoresi.

“They offered to let Don Lemon go if he would watch the Melania movie. He instead jumped into a jail cell and swallowed the key,” quipped @tonyposnanski.

“I heard Melania already has a sequel documentary in the works, recounting her early life growing up in South Chicago, Harvard education, her work with black outreach charities, and her Grammy’s for her spoken word audio books, ‘Becoming’ and ‘The Light We Carry,’ wrote Alex Cole on Twitter, referencing the infamous incident in which Melania Trump plagiarized a Michelle Obama speech.

Too bad, so sad!

At least the Trumps have already gotten their $40 million bribe from Jeff Bezos, who somehow has enough money for that but not enough to pay the 16,000 people they just laid off.

Once again, the conservative campaign to make themselves culturally relevant has landed with a squish at the bottom of the dumpster.